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COUPLES COUNSELING

 

There are few things sadder than seeing soul mates divorce because they did not know how to be life mates. Many of you can probably remember when you first fell in love with your partner. You may find yourselves looking for that marriage you lost. The memory is so powerful that it often carries you through the storms. Yet, the storm is not the marriage. Marriage is the calm in the storm and not to be confused with being the storm. 

Marriage (aka coupling) is sacred because it reveals who we are to one another. Though, the poetry of love often runs counter to the tangibility of love. Both are needed. In my own past personal experience as well as my professional experience, I have found that many marriages never carved out their own personal commandment list; a kind of principles of things that are held as a value in marriage. As a result, couples go out without a compass. Vows serve the macro commandments. Although you need a  mission statement of your union, you also need defined rules of how you want to create and apply your vision of marriage. Without it,  various levels of pain and/or abuse sneaks in to ruin what started out as good.

There are commandments in love; yet few know what these commandments are. For some, happiness is the first commandment. Yet their home is in constant chaos that runs counter to that principle. For others, purpose is a primary commandment. However the home may have lost its own purpose because it was never claimed as a value. Every marriage has different commandments. I think all world wars begin in the home as civil wars. Before finding peace in the Middle East, learn to find peace in your marriages. Such peace brings treasures that simply do not compare. We can’t change the world; but we can change ourselves. You have already found who you want to love and that is the hardest part; now come learn how to love. 

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